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-Filial Love

by Wim Janssens

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1.
Dancing On The Head Of A Needle We know this song and we dance to the beat There's a head on collision We've got a front row seat Right now, It's just you and me And a handful of dust And as far as I can see There's no-one else I can trust We know this song and we dance to the beat There's a head on collision We've got a front row seat Look me straight in the eye And maybe we can turn these clouds Into a clearblue sky We're dancing On the head of a needle Time And time again We're dancing We're dancing We know this song and we dance to the beat There's a head on collision We've got a front row seat We know this song and we dance to the beat There's a head on collision We've got a front row seat Time and time again Time and time again Time and time again Time and time again Time and time again Time and time again Time and time again ...
2.
I Hope You Don't Get Lonesome I never set a good example And I don't think high of myself My sorrow means so little In the big scheme of things I'm quite happy where I am Still don't take much stock in love But when I have a moment It's you that I'm thinking of Oh I hope you don't get lonesome Like I always do I hope you don't get lonesome I know nicotine is poison But so is looking back And when the past is taking over There's no free space to rest I miss the long conversations Now that you're out there in the world I'm sitting here at the table Looking at the smoke as it curls Oh I hope you don't get lonesome Like I always do I hope you don't get lonesome Like I always do I hope you don't get lonesome Fill me in and keep me posted On every little move you make If it's too much of a hassle then know that there's no life at stake We can pick up where we left off I ain't going anywhere I've done a bit of research And I know my part so well Oh I hope you don't get lonesome Like I always do I hope you don't get lonesome I hope you don't get lonesome I'm staying home For all I know This is the place My sacred home Oh won't you come Back home Come visit me At home Oh I hope you don't get lonesome I hope you don't get lonesome I hope you don't get lonesome
3.
The Wrong End Of The Gun Put some money on the game, 'cause you never know They're never gonna win, 'cause the spirit's low, low, low Oh nothing works, nothing works, nothing works around here I lost it yesterday, and I'm about to lose it again There's a river of noise running through my brain Like an endless ring that slowly drives me insane All the lights are on but all I see is black I could use some poison to clear my goddamn head And it kicks in Like a fever Oh oh misery As strong as gravity Oh oh sorrow Like a shadow hanging over me In this 24 hour run I’m at the wrong end of the gun There's always some mad stuff going on Always a hitch, something going all wrong And there's no music when the needle drops Just the dreadful sound of ticking clocks And it kicks in Like a fever Oh oh misery As strong as gravity Oh oh sorrow Like a show hanging over me Oh oh misery You're not a stranger to me Oh oh sorrow Like a shadow clinging on to me And it kicks in Like a fever Oh oh misery As strong as gravity Oh oh sorrow Like a show hanging over me Oh oh misery Come on now, set me free Oh oh sorrow Don't come back tomorrow In this 24 hour run I’m at the wrong end of the gun I’m at the wrong end of the gun I hang on to my ego Pretend this ain't real But up jumps the devil And he goes for the kill The noise it increases Until I give in As the level goes up I’m taking the pill And nothing looks real Nothing looks real Nothing looks real Nothing looks real
4.
5.
Kid You Don't Get Me I've been living in ways That are mainly beside the point Like an obscure record Being played in some shabby joint They say you have to live it up Like there's no tomorrow But life evolves in spite of us It's not something you can borrow It was always less than what I sought And the machine never caught wind And that's mainly because I thought It would never amount to anything Got pushed into the streets Into a bed with no sheets Into the world on my bare feet Soon hardened to life's drumbeat They tried to get rid of me Tried to corner me silently So you can say whatever you want But don't fuck me up quietly Kid, you don't get me Kid, you don't get me I'm at the receiving end Of an industry that sells though luck beans Plays a dissonant symphony For disappointments hard to redeem Hey, that's the way it is The machine never caught wind Even when I had the money I never knew how to stint Kept my eyes on the door But I always got my share When I heard footsteps approach Coming up the stairs I never kept the score Somehow I just lost track Yeah what's the use of screaming Inside a heavy sack They tried to get rid of me Tried to corner me silently So you can say whatever you want But don't fuck me up quietly They tried to get rid of me Tried to corner me silently So you can say whatever you want But don't fuck me up quietly Kid, you don't get me Kid, you don't get me Kid, you don't get me Kid, you don't get me ...
6.
The Night The Lights Went Out It was June when she took her last breath And August when the lights went out If you’ve ever lost a loved one, you know what I’m talking about I was caught up in a dream When the power quit. It took a couple of hours To know how far that blackout hit So I stood there on the corner Feeling like I needed to roam I had no idea where I was heading Except that I wasn’t heading home. From New York to Ohio, no electricity And as vain as it sounds, i’m sure it was a gift for me. On The night the lights went out On The night the lights went out On The night the lights went out On The night the lights went out The city was inverted Streets were deserted Cars were held up Trains were shut down People were trapped in elevators They kept on breathing thanks to generators They were lining up to use a pay phone Suddenly I didn’t feel so all alone On the night the lights went out If you’ve ever lost somebody You’ll know just what I mean When I let myself imagine She created the whole nutty scene From New York to Ohio, no electricity As vain as it sounds, i’m sure it was a gift for me. On The night the lights went out On The night the lights went out On The night the lights went out On The night the lights went out It started in Ohio and And that would have been just like her To put the lights out on millions So i could find my way My way out of a marriage And the life I wasn’t meant to lead A reminder that true love’s rage Could overcome any need And if you think it’s crazy, Well I don’t have any doubts 'cause nothing was ever the same After the night the lights went out. After the night the lights went out. After the night the lights went out. After the night the lights went out. After the night the lights went out. After the night the lights went out. After the night the lights went out. ....
7.
A Different Moon Sunday Morning I'm holding on Must have been dreaming You won't make that call` You're moving slowly Slowly out of view My world crashes It's a different moon I’m wishing on a little star When all hope's vanished and gone I've got to get to you somehow I'm feeling' pretty low There's no-one here To ease my mind It doesn't matter What you say The sun is setting I’ll be on my way I’m coming over To the other side Shake these demons I’ll be home tonight I’m wishing on a little star When all hope's vanished and gone I've got to get to you somehow I'm feeling' pretty low There's no-one here To ease my mind But I'm still ready to go Anywhere Anytime soon I’m wishing on a little star When all hope's vanished and gone I've got to get to you somehow I'm feeling' pretty low There's no-one here To ease my mind I'm still ready to go I’ve got to get to you somehow I’m still ready to go I’m still ready to go I'm still ready to go I'm still ready to go Anywhere Anytime soon
8.
Dream Of Life I saw your future Up on that hill While you were asleep In the back of the car Did you find that place? Did you get that far? Saw your life before me Saw the old oak trees Where you'll sit in the shade Unafraid of the dark Saw you standing there At the oval driveway Beneath a clear blue sky Amidst nothing but sparks Have you reached that place? You must have gotten there by now Saw deadly injured birds Fallen at your feet And you were putting them To sleep Saw the roots of your heart Running deep into that ground Good to know that you'll be there When I come around Have you reached that place? You must have gotten there by now…. I saw my future Up on that hill While you were asleep In the back of the car Saw the blooming garden A sea of possibilities A stronghold Against the enemies Saw my life before me Not like in some dream But in broad daylight Staring back at me Will you let me know When you arrive there first? You must be there by now…. I saw our future Up on that hill While you were asleep In the back of the car All I ever wanted Was to be standing there with you Taking in the night air For an eternity All I ever wanted Taking in the night air For an eternity Have you reached that place? You must have gotten there by now…. You must have gotten there by now
9.
Voice sample: Susan Robinson
10.
Burn Away Time You can travel Follow the stream Round the bend And conquer dreams Get lost in the world of promises made never to return 'til you're back a the start With the same old light In the same old street The fragile spirit of those doggone days When all was mad And nothing straight All was mad And nothing straight And it's hard to hold on To letting go It's a daily battle On center court But the audience turns numb When the knives are blunt 'cause if there's no blood To be spilled Then there's only time Left to kill Now let it burn Burn away time When it hurts All over inside The strange colour On the wall Is just a dim reminder Of what went on before And something's waiting there for you Still smouldering in the shade And you can look the other way But It won't go It won't go away Unless you Let it burn Burn away time When it hurts All over inside Now let it burn Burn away time When it hurts All over inside . And let it poison your lungs And burn away time Let it make you feel dirty All over inside And learn to die a little When you have forgotten That all good things are brittle Not all pain feels rotten Now let it burn Burn away time When it hurts All over inside And let it burn Burn away time When it hurts All over inside Let it burn Let it burn Let it burn Let it burn ...
11.
Your Darkness Is All Mine I ran from the madness Let you carry the shame I ran from the sadness But the burden was too heavy I was not getting far I was going under steady I didn't have the heart The truth is in the gutter And I'm going down Borrowed a wire cutter But I should have brought a light In this inverted temple I follow you down Collect all the samples As if you committed a crime And I feel a strange detachment But all of this belongs to me I am looking for the answers In an ocean of debris There's always time left to remember But none to make things right You were the first to surrender But now your darkness is all mine Is all mine You were the first to surrender But now your darkness is all mine The search stops the pain When you invite me under I’m digging deeper to stay sane For all the love we had in store I’ve got no more left to give But I'm not letting go of you ‘cause somewhere in this labyrinth I’m hoping to find the truth For all that you've done wrong It was never against me But all I'm doing wrong Feels like a bad memory There's always time left to remember But none to make things right You were the first to surrender But now your darkness is all mine Is all mine You were the first to surrender But now your darkness is all mine Is all mine You were the first to surrender But now your darkness is all mine
12.
Voice sample: Susan Robinson & TR Ericsson
13.
Hole In My Heart Your voice used to slam like a hammer Against my eardrums All that lousy grammar Just to make my head go numb And with every word Every slip of the tongue My heart sunk a little deeper You've kept me from being young The times that you were gone Were the times that I could breath But you never stayed away long enough For all those wounds to heal You have carved a hole in my heart The kind that will never close again You were there at the start And you'll be there in the end It's your blood That runs through my veins But when you raised hell I was the one to pay Stranger than the madness Was the love I never knew Sometimes it felt that I was only there To pick myself up for round two Nothing new under the sun Just another violent riot And maybe after all Something was missing in your diet You have carved a hole in my heart The kind that will never close again You were there at the start And you'll be there in the end You have carved a hole in my heart The kind that will never close again You were there at the start And you'll be there in the end You were like a ghost Showing up at ungodly hours Spreading your diseases From high up in your tower But I never found the cure Never found the right pills You just left me there bleeding Like time you could kill You have carved a hole in my heart The kind that will never close again You were there at the start And you'll be there in the end You have carved a hole in my heart The kind that will never close again You were there at the start And you'll be there in the end
14.
Voice sample: Susan Robinson
15.
Crossing the river I just wanna look good When I cross that river I can't take you with me I hope you're a forgiver I'll dye my hair brown And I'll polish my nails Pay my last dues I'll cover the trails I'm of no use here anymore I'm surrounded by fools God, even the birds Are singing the blues I crowned you my king When you turned four I did what i could But now I am done for I guess I'm going to sleep On the way to the other side I'm gonna live the dream And sleep through the ride I'm crossing the river today Deliver me, Stars to guide me I'm crossing the river today Deliver me, From this sadness inside of me This strange invader's Freezing my limbs And it's slowing My heart down I'll leave you All of my belongings I guess I won't need them On the other side Until we're back Together It'll help To keep me in mind I guess I'm going to sleep On the way to the other side I'm gonna live the dream And sleep through the ride I'm crossing the river today Deliver me, Stars to guide me I'm crossing the river today Deliver me, From this sadness inside of me I'm not afraid And my mind is made up I've been thinking of going And now the time has come I'll close the curtains And have one last smoke And I'll lock the doors Before I go Before I go I guess I'm going to sleep On the way to the other side I'm gonna live the dream And sleep through the ride I guess I'm going to sleep On the way to the other side
16.
The Seasons Let Us Down Again Need a break From all these little woes I've been hiding in the shadows Far too long And I was Suppose to learn as I went along But I couldn't find the way To leave it all behind And who knew how it would unfold Oh the future's always hanging Hanging by a thread It feels like I'm the only one In a state of unrest The seasons let us down again That holy rain would never land Oh I know We were living on the edge of nothing Far too long I don't know Who to trust or who to blame In the end it's all the same It's a gamble, a lonely game Man, I just try to numb the pain And it's hard To keep the wolves from the door I hear a thousand engines roar They keep coming back for more For more For more Oh the future's always hanging Hanging by a thread It feels like I'm the only one In a state of unrest Our thunder stolen from us Left us weary in the fuzz Our pride, it got ran over Ran over by a bus Come on now And hold me Like you held me When we were young Just a little bit closer to the sun We were on drift ice First the view it was nice Then I lost you Yes It came at a prize Couldn't measure its size Until I lost You I’m still here Don't know if you can see The world's stomping on our dream It all feels so unreal So unreal We were on drift ice First the view it was nice Then I lost you Yeah it came at a prize Couldn't measure its size Until I lost You We were on drift ice First the view it was nice Then I lost you First summer, now fall Still nothing at all I lost you
17.
18.
The Ghost Of You I'm in a car That is slowly reversing Biting my tongue To keep from cursing And the radio’s spitting venom But all I hear is you Always dead on time Like the morning news And the story never ends It’s you and me Over and over again Over and over again The ghost of you returns The ghost of you returns Every single day The ghost of you returns Every goddamn day It’s you and me Over and over again Over and over again The ghost of you returns The ghost of you returns The ghost of you returns
19.
Not In Vain 03:43
Not In Vain Never heard this house so quiet But I still feel the desolation Never seen this house so empty Long gone the congregation And the memories unfold They are growing wild like weeds They blossom in the dust And I'm just following their lead I’ve been standing guard for days And like a ghost I rearrange Every little piece of you Back into place And I wish I had the guts To call out your name I just wanted to let you know Your love was not in vain Not in vain Not in vain I hope you have found salvation Above the darker clouds You left me with a strong vocation And I'm still here to make you proud The cut is still too fresh But you know one day I will sing You never had an easy life But you gave me everything I’ve been standing guard for days And like a ghost I rearrange Every little piece of you Back into place And I wish I had the guts To call out your name I just wanted to let you know Your love was not in vain Not in vain Not in vain Not in vain I’ve been standing guard for days And like a ghost I rearrange Every little piece of you Back into place And I wish I had the guts To call out your name I just wanted to let you know Your love was not in vain
20.
Call Back 04:05
21.
Where Were You When It Was Shit No blood, no foul See a problem, turn away When things are good You’re loud like a sunny day But when it's time to suffer For what we believe You believe it's all Just some chronic disease Where were you When the morning dew Melted beneath the winter sun When pure white snow turned to slush And the car decided not to run When all the shops were boarded up And the streets scared us out of our wits When the night was so black it was even too black For the ghost of Malevich When the softest noise Made my heart skip a beat When every fist knocking on my door Had me ready to leap Where were you When the final whistle blew And I was face down in the dirt When the mob was yelling at the stars Promising a morning of hurt. Where were you when it was shit When nothing seemed to fit And it hurt to admit That I felt lonely Where were you when it was shit? When nothing seemed to fit Where were you When we dug that trench And buried our friend Dirt beneath our nails Carrying his weight right up to the end Where were you When the headlines screamed That the dreamers had lost Where were you When they announced the end of times And I was waiting for the waves to rise Hanging on to every small disaster In hopes of a higher ride Where were you when it was shit When nothing seemed to fit And it hurt to admit That I felt lonely Where were you when it was shit? When nothing seemed to fit Wherever you were I hope it’s been swell The neighborhood is safer Things here are going well. There's water to drink Air fresh as a dream The crying tags Have all been polished and cleaned We’re making the papers We're writing our news You’re back at the party As if you never heard the blues As if you never heard the blues Where were you when it was shit When nothing seemed to fit And it hurt to admit That I felt lonely Where were you when it was shit When nothing seemed to fit

about

"Filial Love"

Music inspired by the archive of American artist TR Ericsson and his mother, Susan Robinson.
www.trericsson.com

Siamese Twin Records 2021 / Harlan Levey Projects
hl-projects.com

Special thanks to TR Ericsson, Harlan Levey, Joy Adegoke, Winglam Kwok, Max Köhrich, Martin "Lucky" Waschkowitsch, Michael Hank, Bewake Studios, Zino Mikorey, Benedikt Zillich, Senol Güney.

credits

released April 2, 2021

All Music written, arranged and produced by Wim Janssens.
Track 3,5,7,8,11,13,16,15,16,19,21,22 mixed by Martin "Lucky" Waschkowitsch.
Track 1,2,4,6,9,10, 12,14,17,18,20,23 mixed by Wim Janssens.
Mastered by Max Köhrich.

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Wim Janssens Berlin, Germany

Wim Janssens is a Belgian musician, currently living in Berlin.
As producer, songwriter and arranger he has worked with a large number of artists in a wide range of styles. One of his last collaborations was with Triphop pioneer Tricky, who asked him to play guitars and bass on his recent albums.He's also one part of the duo Joy Wellboy who have released several albums to great acclaim since 2013 ... more

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